Caroline: The Empire’s Monkey Butt

 In today’s political theater, the spokesperson is the face of the system itself, the most visible embodiment of the dialogue between state and world. In the Trump 2.0 administration, the mouth at the White House podium belongs to Karoline Claire Leavitt.

She is not like Vance, who once openly denounced Trump but later turned pragmatic to step into the power center; nor is she like Rubio, who bends and compromises for political survival, abandoning ideals. The “badness” of Vance and Rubio can be called a rational decay. But Ms. Leavitt’s relationship with Trump is pure love, a completely different species in the political ecosystem. Her “loyalty” almost glows, yet she has zero reverence for facts; her speech flows endlessly, but its content is as hollow as the wind; her attacks on the media are not strategic—they are instinctive reflexes. This is not rational decay; it is reason exhausted, words empty.

Blind loyalty is foolish; lying with open eyes is evil. Caroline perfectly fuses the two, rising to a central role in the empire’s propaganda machine in a manner almost comically theatrical. And the truly alarming part? This happens in today’s America, visible in every live or recorded press briefing, in every like beneath the clips.

Because it is an absolute numerical proof of a once-great empire’s cognitive decline.

While people in the developing world still envy America’s “beacon of freedom,” what they see is a woman with a vocabulary smaller than a northeastern Chinese grandma’s, representing the world’s foremost power. In China, even the “Wolf Warriors” retain traces of training; in America, Caroline has abandoned even the basics of rhetoric, relying solely on facial management and emotional mimicry. This is not merely a sign of decline—if we imagine America’s military and technological edge as a beautiful performing monkey, Caroline’s White House press conferences are the monkey’s rear end in close-up, taking its final bow.

Step back and think: this is historically traceable. Every empire’s decline follows a standard path: from Rome’s senators to Byzantine eunuchs, from the British Empire’s knights to that final governor dancing the foxtrot in a colony. Decline is never a sudden roar; it is a repeated absurdification of power symbols and a collapse of aesthetic judgment.

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Caroline is Not the Culprit—She’s a Signal

She represents a new type of American elite: no need to understand the world, only to please the leader; no need to defend truth, only to attack questioning; no need to assume responsibility, only to perform loyalty. In such a field of power, “intelligence” becomes inappropriate, “professionalism” a burden, while blind loyalty plus aggression is the key to advancement. And she indeed fulfills her mission—not to make America stronger, but to provide a heavy metal harmony to Trump 2.0’s self-praise.

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Section 2: From Wolf Warriors to Caroline—Who’s More Ridiculous?

To Chinese liberal intellectuals, “Wolf Warrior diplomacy” once epitomized shame: coarse tone, fractured logic, arrogant posture, like a thug trying to claim the moral high ground. Yet ironically, when Caroline appears in the White House briefing room, this “race of linguistic decay” is no longer China’s alone.

Compared with Zhao Lijian and his peers, Caroline lacks a rich repertoire of aggressive vocabulary and the seasoned art of tactical ambiguity. She is more like a faithful performer turning the ‘Trump Lexicon’ into her personal stage script: no script preparation, no concern for emotional causality. You ask a question—she attacks; you cite facts—she roars “fake news”; you quote authorities—she glares and says, “The president has made his position very clear.”

Yes, the Chinese Wolf Warriors remain unappealing because they carry the scent of Orwell’s Ministry of Truth; but at least they pretend to be discussing policy. Caroline seems to scorn logic entirely, reduced to a three-step dance of anti-media, pro-Trump, anti-democracy, spinning and leaping, apparently closed-eyed in self-indulgence.

It is as if two uncontrolled nations’ mouths are shouting at each other—one using a script, the other pure emotion; one excessively packaged, the other completely bare.

And the contrast? It makes the Wolf Warriors look excessively rational.

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Section 3: When a Northeastern Grandma Outperforms the White House Spokesperson, How Should We Reassess “Imperial Language”?

If you have ever watched the “insult art” videos of northeastern Chinese grandmas on Douyin or Kuaishou, you’ll understand that Caroline does not even reach the semi-finals in the category of “endless speech.”

These grandmas’ language density, speed, and vivid vocabulary make one suspect they secretly read the Ci Hai in their dreams. Their insults never repeat; while wild in logic, they have their own system, weaving emotion and rhythm like a mix of stand-up and Peking opera. You may dislike their content, but it’s impossible not to respect their linguistic skill—they are the stress testers of vernacular Chinese.

Caroline, by contrast: slower speech, limited vocabulary, incomplete logic, and most crucially, no linguistic creativity, only loyalty to language. Her statements feel like machine translation, less agile than AI-generated political boilerplate. She is not communicating—she is shutting down. Not answering questions—she is masking their existence.

Thus emerges a portrait of a civilization in farce: an American White House spokesperson whose language skills, expressive power, even cultural sophistication are inferior to grassroots Chinese “street insult artists.”

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Section 4: The Decline of Language—The First Alarm of Civilizational Decay

Historically, civilizational decline seldom begins on the battlefield; it begins with the loss of language. When language no longer pursues truth but conceals absurdity; when it no longer builds trust but amplifies hatred and loyalty; when its power degenerates from “organizing consensus” to “manipulating emotion,” institutions gradually lose legitimacy, politics becomes theater, and the state becomes a mere prop.

The tragedy of the Caroline phenomenon is not merely that she lies—this has long been common in political history. What is terrifying is that she represents a system rewarding anti-intellectualism, stupidity, and evil.

She is not a rogue individual—she is a natural product of the Trump 2.0 system:

• A spokesperson forever loyal to the master, not the nation;

• A messenger who can completely ignore policy substance, fanning “victories” through emotion alone;

• America’s version of Wolf Warriors, flattened and diminished.

People often say, “The advantage of a system is that it accommodates the bad without falling, prevents the foolish from taking the reins.” Caroline’s existence shows that contemporary American politics is no longer about bad people sneaking in—it is good people being shut out, treating loyalty as skill, audacity as courage, blind obedience as morality—a level of decay few can reach.

If Wolf Warriors once embarrassed Chinese liberals, Caroline brings rational observers worldwide to despair. Because this is not “the other’s ignorance”; it is the beacon of light actively moving into darkness.

When a great nation’s White House spokesperson speaks worse than a Northeastern Chinese grandma, we must begin to question whether the empire itself is thinking about the world in the voice of these grandmas.

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